as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
