My room smells like vodka and shame
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
