i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
