Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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