somebody snuck up and got me drunk
If that was your dad, he is hot
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
