I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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