you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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