I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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