fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize