So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
