I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
