got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
