if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
