If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
