found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
