dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
