Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
