Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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