I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
