Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
