No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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