is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
