And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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