Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
high people should be assigned attendants
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
