Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
