i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize