Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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