pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
