I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
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