If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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