My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I think people are normalizing furries
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