What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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