I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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