why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
