how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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