Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
