Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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