is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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