Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
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If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
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Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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