We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
