i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
