Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Randomize
