i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
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Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
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He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober