All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
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The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.