so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I am one with the molecules
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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