That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
