lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
