We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
