I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
