Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
