I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
