So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
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