Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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