Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
