apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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