Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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