You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
