D3 body, D1 cock
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
