you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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