His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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