So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
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I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
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There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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