I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
